Wednesday, March 28

My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

I had a rather crummy day at work today and when I got home all I wanted to do was escape from everything: my job, my house, my life... and anything else that could be escaped from. I hate days like this, when I feel almost ill and I can't stop thinking about what went wrong and whether I could have prevented it. In fact, it's my thoughts that I want to escape from most. I just want it all to be gone.

On days like this I really, REALLY want to stop working forever and spend my remaining days under a palm tree far away from the world. I feel like I can't handle working even one more day and the sooner I am out of it, the better. And so it is days like this that are the driving force behind my, and probably many other people's, retirement plans.

Sigh....

But I am also starting to realize that life isn't designed to be easy. There might be days like this even without work. Some days bad things will happen to good people. And smart people will do stupid things from time to time, which will occasionally come back to bite them in the rear. And this is just a part of life, no matter what.

That palm tree sure sounds good though!

Today's billable hours: 3.0
Today's contracted hours: 0.0

3 comments:

S. B. said...

Wow! Sorry about your day.

I think it is true, however, that you can harness that intensity for good. I wish I could say I was always motivated by positive things, but the fact is that often new job positions and hard work were driven by negative emotions. Even my graduate degrees were to some extent driven by a desire to "get away from" certain job experiences. So don't discount turning things around for your own benefit.

Also, for me personally, children have had an unbelievably calming effect on my stress level from work. This may sound counter-intitutive, as many people experience the opposite, but to each his/her own. If you ever find something that works for you like that outside of work, latch onto it! I can put up with so much more stuff at work than I ever dreamed possible 10 years ago!

Canadian Dream said...

Mmm, your day reminds me of how I used to get worked up over work. Now I face each day with an interesting sense of detachment to all the bull at any office.

What changed was I read "Your Money or Your Life" and I really agreed with the idea of I'm only at my paid job to get paid! I don't need to seek any job satisfaction or anything else from it. So I seek meaning from other parts of my life and don't get caught up in the bull of wanting a corner office with a big desk.

Just my two cents,
CD

the money diva said...

sb, cd,
Thanks so much for your insight and support! I think that you are both right in identifying that I need to dissociate from my work and find external things to focus on more. I have worked too much for the past few years and I know that it has changed my perspective, not always for the better. One day I will break free!
md